I think I need a vacation

I had a terrible dream last night.  A terrible, work related dream.   I know you LOVE when people share their dreams......and since it's my job to entertain you with all things farm related.....I just HAVE to relay my crazy dream.  Maybe it will reveal something deep rooted about my fragile psyche?

In a nutshell- our farm burned down.

I had to move all our calves.

I moved them all to Municipal Park......they surrounded the entire pool.

I had to bottle feed every single one of them (there are more than 60 right now)  by myself....in the summer.....during prime pool hours.

I had to feed them all....using one bottle.  See, all the others burned up in the fire.

I had to feed them milk replacer.  See, the pasteurizer burned up in the fire.

I had to mix it 5 gallons at a time in an old dry wall bucket.   See, all my barrels burned up in the fire.

You all were there, you all were swimming and laughing and pointing and laughing. 

I cried.

And when I woke up this morning, my right arm ached because I had to mix all that milk replacer by hand, with a whisk.

I realized it was just a dream, a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad dream.

I cried (from happiness this time)

And then I had to go help the Dairy Farmer feed calves in the maternity pen......yup, we are back to square one.  Overflow at Brechland Farms......all out of room.  We have 13 in that pen and it's a nightmare.

And...again.....I cried.

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Two Words.....UGGGG LEEEEE

So, if you know me, you know I have 2 XXL dogs.  If you know me, you know I love my XXL dogs.  Their comfort is a high priority on my list and I have sacrificed at least 2 couches to them.  The last one was totally destroyed.    You see Abby:

well, she's a "nest" er.  She digs and digs and circles and circles to make herself a nice nest before she lays down.  That is tough on furniture.    And then there's Jack:

He weighs in around 180-ish and that's tough on furniture.  So, because I do love these hounds (and because Jack has decided to take over MY loveseat) I have been on the search for a new sofa for them.  

The other day The Dairy Farmer's family was over and mentioned that they had a loveseat that they were donating to the cause.  Cool.

Today, this is what showed up at my door:

Why, hello Goldie Hawn.  Welcome to the year 2011!  So, it's all good, right?  It's for the dogs, for pete's sake.  I can throw a cover over this and we'll be good to go.

Abby checked out Goldfinger and decided .....no thank you.  I prefer to lay on my flat, lifeless bed over here by the radiator.  Maybe Jack will like it?

Oh dear.  I am not sure what Oompa Loompa owned this loveseat, but it's a tad small.   Houston, we have a problem.  There is no way both of my dogs are going to fit on The Golden Child.  I'm afraid that Jack is going to continue hauling his big, slobbery beehind up on MY loveseat!   I guess we'll have to have a discussion about sharing.

Now, Goldmember didn't show up by herself.  She brought a friend:

This special friend was told to wait on the porch.   I have to draw a line somewhere.  So, if you're happening by the farm and you're feeling a bit weary, feel free to stop by and take a load off on my front porch.  If you position it right, you can watch TV through the window.

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bow chicka wow wow.......

The Dairy Farmer came home a tad frustrated yesterday.  He has been noticing that the fellow on the top floor of an apartment  near us seems to have a very large television, located near a very large window.   Now, I know the DF has TV envy, but that's not the sole reason for his annoyance.  Seems this fella watches a good bit of porn.....on his big TV.....on a Saturday morning,...which apparently can be seen quite clearly from the road. 

Now,  a wife might ask.....how on earth can you tell it's porn when you are SUPPOSED to be watching the road while you drive?  Hmmm?????   Well, so happens this happy camper lives right at a stop sign.  So, when you are stopping and looking both ways, you get an eye full.   I've been wondering why the traffic around here has slowed to a crawl!


So, public service announcement....if you live near us, please shield your children (and husbands) eyes when you come to the 4 way stop. 

God love the DF....he wanted to know if it was illegal.  Illegal to watch porn from the comfort of your own home?  I really don't think so....this is still America last time I checked.  If they take away your dirty movies, what's next?????

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We are in TRUB-BLE!

My Dairy Farmer is one hard workin' dude.  He works long hours in the heat, the cold and the dead of night (much like your postman) to bring you the delicious dairy products you have grown accustomed to.  Feel free to thank him for preventing your osteoporosis.

Seriously, he works every single day of the year....that's 365 days the last time I checked.  He is always on call.  His cell phone rings ALL the blasted time.  It's a blessing......allowing us to actually leave our farm on occasion.......and it's a curse......they can always find us!

Even though it is a hard, thankless job, even though the economy sucks, even though the milk price fluctuates constantly, even though we had a major drought last summer, my Dairy Farmer holds it all together. 

He may have a massive ulcer on the inside, but he usually "grins and bears" it.    He takes very few days off work.  We do have the luxury of family vacations, but again......his dang cell phone rings all the time....even at 3am.  And when Mrs. The Farmer is on vacation....that is NOT what she wants to hear.  

I've talked about his "worry" lines before....very large creases on his sweet little forehead.  That's what this business will do to ya.  But, a few times a year, those lines disappear.   In the summer, when he is running his boat on the lake- he's like a dog with his head hanging out the car window- pure joy.   And in the winter, when he is skiing in Colorado.  Even the punks noticed how different he looks when he's doing what he loves. 

We are heading out west in a few short days and as much as a love not having to feed calves for a full week, I am not much of an "outside" wife.  I prefer to stay inside- you know, where it's warm.  Where it's cozy. Where the wind don't blow.   And it still boggles my mind that the Dairy Farmer, who HATES winter in Pennsylvania when it's cold and blustery can LOVE winter in Colorado where the wind chill is minus 40. 

So, we're packing the punks and snagging a grandparent or two and hauling our butts outta here.  We are all outfitted with new skis and new boots for the kids, we've got gloves and goggles and helmets, oh my.  

The point of this (and trust....I always have one) is that after our dry run at Whitetail last night, I realized 2 things:
1) skiing in PA sucks.....like, a lot and
B) I am excited

So, lookout C-O.......here we G-O!

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The Wizard?

The Wizard? But nobody can see the Great Oz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Oz! Even I've never seen him!


That's kind of how I feel sometimes.  I am the numero uno photographer of all events around this joint.  I am the primary videographer of all things interesting (and not so interesting).  I am the only person who feels it's necessary to blog about the goings on at Brechland Farms.  Therefore, no one ever sees the wizard.  I have been scrapbooking lately, trying to get myself semi caught up and I realized how very few pictures there are of  me.  Now, I prefer it this way, I really am not photogenic....and of course, I look at a picture of  myself and pick apart all the things that are wrong: muffin top, crows feet, gray hair....I am, afterall, looking down the barrel of the big 4-0 in just a few months.  But, someday, just maybe, my punks might want to see a picture of their momma.   And I am sure they won't say a word about my crow's feet and gray hair.  After all, they are the reason I have them. 

Needless to say-  The Dairy Farmer grabbed my camera from me the other day and snapped my picture.  This is me-what you see is what you get.   Me- uncensored, unphotoshopped and unbelievable cold!  By the way....isn't there a saying that says the camera adds 35 pounds...and gray hair? 

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It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood....

On Monday, we started moving some dirt to make a new "calf pad".....sounds so....seventies.....so retro......so Austin Powers.  It's shagadelic, baby.     But, it's really just a level piece of ground where we can relocate our calves to try and offer them better protection from that blasted wind.  The wind around here really blows, man. 

 By Friday, our calves were moved in.  It was a joyful surprise when I went out to feed that afternoon and realized that my babies weren't where they were supposed to be.  They moved....and I was even more elated that not one person came around pestering me to help. 

Here they all are, well, most of them anyway.  All lined up in a beautiful straight row.  I love straight, I love rows.  Us anal retentive people like our order! 

There are 45 calves in this row......and a couple empty hutches.  I'm sure once the ladies get wind that we have room at the inn, they'll start pushing em out....shoving em out.....way out!  Anyone know where that saying came from? 

So, remember how I was telling you how this would offer some wind relief?  Here are the few last weaned ones left up on that hill.  Being down in the hollow makes a HUGE difference. 



They will be moving in a few days, so no need to stress them twice.   But they look down at me and cry...."we can totally see you.  We see you and we see that big barrel of milk, c'mon back up here and bring that truck with you! "

Of course we have these turkeys left.  Larry, Moe, Curly and that other dark haired one.  What was his name?

They live in the hayshed with 8 others.  We ran out of room around Thanksgiving and had to group house some. 

See the 2 with the white blazes on their heads?  Those are the twins that were born on separate days.  The one of the right was born on a Saturday and the one of the left was born on a Wednesday.    That's just weird. 

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I love a snow day!

And so does my son!  So far, we've had just enough snow that it's pretty and fresh, but hasn't shut down the workings of the farm.  We've had enough to play in and sled in and ride 4 wheelers in, but not enough that we've had to plow.   We've had enough that my boy is in pure heaven.  He has been up since 7:30 working and playing and hasn't even been in for breakfast.  Now, that is saying something.  My boy does not miss a meal.  He is all about when can he eat, what can he eat and how much can he eat. 
I am enjoying sitting in my warm craft room and watching him enjoy the snow.  I've said it once and I'll say it again, I am an inside kind of mom. 

 A young boy, a 4 wheeler and snow go together like peas and carrots.   








Notice the ginormous racing helmet on his head.  He saved all his green from Christmas to buy himself a "real" helmet.  He had been wearing his ski helmet for the last few months.   He is just like his daddy.  Now, his daddy had knee high, bright red racing boots that he thought were THE coolest things ever.  We didn't have the heart to tell him how ridiculous they looked....wait, maybe we did?   

My poor yard.....it will never be the same.

I have another boy who loves the snow too!   He is waiting for Farm Boy Jr Edition to come out and play. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                          First, they made snow angels for two hours, then they went ice skating, then they ate a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookiedough as fast as they could, and they snuggled.

  Nah, I'm just kidding.  I have an affinty for elf culture.  But, they really did make snow angels.








Then, they played "stick." 





Then, they played "bite the tire." 






And, THEN they snuggled. 

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Can we dig it? Yes, we can!

There is something exciting happening on our farm!  And, if you are anything like my boys, you'll be happy to hear that we have big machines working around here!   The Dairy Farmer FINALLY decided that we need to relocate our calves, not because they witnessed a serious crime or anything.  We aren't putting them in the witness protection program....we're just moving their houses to a different area of the farm.   

You see,  they live on the highest place on our farm.....way up on a hill.......and there is really no protection on that hill.   It's like   OOOOOklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain
And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet when the wind comes right behind the rain......wait,what?  I don't live in Oklahoma......Peeeeensylvania, where the wind comes sweeping down the plain......

 So, if you look way off in the distance behind all their little houses....what do you see?  Nuthin?  That's right.....nuthin is there to stop that wind.  In the summer, it's nice, but when it's cold as an Eskimo's butt, they need some protection. 

So a few days ago.....Scoop, Muck and Rolly showed up at our farm and started moving some big piles of dirt around!   Bob the Builder shout out....get it?  Anyone?  My, that takes me back....
Anywho....you're here to see pictures of big stuff.......so here you go:

I think it might be sad that I am so joyful at the thought of 1) having all the calves in one central location and B) that we will all be sheltered from the wind.   This pad is down in a hollow and the wind should just blow right over top of us.  Now, what I am not joyful about is moving day.  I am really not sure how we go about moving 60 calves.  But,  I do know that I am pretty sure I will be sick that day. Yup, I feel a fever coming on right now.

Stay tuned for more pictures as this process unfolds.  Right now, I must go grab my honeylamb and sit alone and talk and watch a hawk make lazy circles in the sky.  

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