I Will Survive

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on......

 

that's right, Gloria Gaynor....sing it sister.  That is my life's theme song over the last 11 days.  You see, I am pretty sure I have been to h-e-double hockey sticks.....and back.  I have been without internet <sound of you hitting the floor>. 

I know, I know....it's hard to believe isn't it?   First, The Dairy Farmer, in polyurethane induced delirium, decided to get rid of TV in our house and now we are going full on amish by ditching the internet. 

Not exactly how it happened, but it wouldn't have surprised me if we had started hand milking cows and riding horses to The Wal Mart.   It wasn't intentional, well....the giving up of the TV was.  You see, The DF has been threatening for years, to do away with the blessed machine of evil that resided in our living room.  I said....go for it.  The TV does nothing for me. 

Contrary to local legend....us stay at home moms do NOT sit on our sofas watching our stories and eating bon bons.  In fact, I had a conversation with another SAHM friend today and neither of us know what a bon bon is.  Truth be told, I sit around on my couch all day, watching my stories and eating ICE CREAM...get your story straight. My husband is a dairyman.   I single handedly support the dairy industry and.......I have the thighs to prove it.

Train derailed...sorry.   So, when The DF refinished our floors, we did not hook up our television.  We all detoxed fairly well.....and made it for 14 full days without watching.    Our brains were clearer, our eyes were brighter.....my word....we felt ALIVE!  Ok, 14 days later, the TV came back on and we have returned to our dull, listless lifestyle.  Just in time too.....Grey's Anatomy starts tonight. 

Now, the internet thing was not planned.  Our modem died.  Easy fix.....they shall send us a new one, we'd have it in 6 days.  Yes, you heard me correctly, SIX days.   As The Dairy Farmer has said to the women of this family one too many times.....I sucked it up, sister and set about living in our cyber free zone. 

I do happen to run a home business and working without a net.....HA...get it..."net"....like without internet.  I kill me.   Well, working without it just doesn't work.  I can't communicate with customers and I can't send out specials and I can't place orders.   And for the love of pete....I had no idea what you good people were doing because.....I DIDN'T HAVE FACEBOOK!

I became a junkie going cold turkey.....I was sick.....I was pale and

shaky......I....needed......wifi......and I was going to get it anyway I could.  

I started going to my friend's house.  First....on Tuesday.   Then on Thursday.   Then, my modem still didn't arrive on Friday and I was there every day.....all the time.....so much so that her husband started thinking he had two wives.  And that wasn't below me.....I would've cleaned or done their laundry just for a wifi fix......or since you all know the secret......I would've sat on her couch and eaten her bon bons just for a glimpse of email. 

By Monday, we still had no modem and it was taking its toll on our family.   We all were glassy eyed and nasty as a bobcat with a burr under its tail.   The DF called our company and found out that the order for the modem wasn't processed....but they PROMISED they'd overnight it and we'd be back online by Wednesday. 

Wednesday came.....the modem showed up and we hopped right back online....to 987 emails.   Amazing what happens without a computer.   Life stopped for awhile.....I realized how many things I couldn't do......but I also realized what I could do.  I suddenly had all this free time.....what on earth to do with it?  I read a book.   I also realized that the "thing" in my living room is not really a giant ipod dock....it's actually a treadmill and it WORKS! 

The internet is back and my life is running smoothly again......but I am going to keep reading and good heavens......I may just keep exercising.  Yeah....right.....I give that 14 days too.