It's a boy!

10 years ago, on February 1st at 7:36am, those were the magic words The Dairy Farmer got to hear.....and then he heard, "please reach behind you and pull that emergency cord, if you would."  And that was when I died a thousand deaths.

All was well......it was just our doctor being proactive and calmly making sure our little boy was going to be ok, he had swallowed some meconium and needed a little suction.   He was, is and always will be fine.   


Aidan, in true Aidan fashion was about 5 days late in arriving.  At one point, I was pretty sure I wasn't pregnant at all, it was just a big gas bubble.  I was making progress....but at my last 3 doctor's appts, they kept saying, "you're well on your way, we'll see you soon."  Then a week would go by and back I'd trudge to hear the same thing again.  "Don't go anywhere,"  they said, "when your water breaks, this sucker is gonna come flying."  So, there I stayed....in my house.....in my jammies.....in the middle of winter.....with a a toddler.....all....by.....myself.  I mean, a farm has to keep running no matter what.   I think I went insane.


So, the Dairy Farmer and I devised a genius plan for "the time."   If I went in to labor, I was to turn on the porch light (at this time we lived in the house across the street and he was still milking cows in the evenings.)  In true Motel 6 fashion, he'd see I left a light on for him....he'd rush home and off we'd truck to the hospital.  Perfection!

But wait!  What happens if it's during the day, he won't see the porch light!  OMG!!!  So, another ingenious plan was devised....I'd hang a Wal Mart bag on the front door!  They were bright blue at that time....and as I'm typing this....I'm wondering why I didn't call him on his cell phone?  We had cell phones 10 yrs ago, didn't we?  Hmmmm.    Anyway, that was our plan and it was a good one!  Oh wait, I remember.....he didn't have cell service in the milking parlor.  Whew...for a minute I thought maybe we had turned stupid. 



On a Saturday (the day after my due date), I went in (for a reason none of you good folks need to hear about) and was told I was 5 centimeters, completely effaced, baby was engaged and we were ready for blast off.   Heck yeah, I knew that....I could barely sit down without feeling like I was sitting on a bowling ball!  They did some "magic" stuff, which you mom's probably know  about and said we'll be surprised if you make it until this evening! 


Well.....5 long, exhausting, frustrating days later, I woke up one morning and thought "ouch."  And then, a few minutes later, I thought "ouch" again.   It was maybe 6-ish....so I put on the ole porch light and waited for the DF to casually finish up what he was doing and saunter his slow butt up the driveway (I'm sure it took him a minute to get home...but I was "ouching" quite a bit by then and it felt like a REALLY long time)   He called our doctor and was told ....."head in when the contractions are consistently 5 minutes apart for 1 hour."  WHAT THE  HELL, MAN......I'm having contractions on top of contractions every couple minutes....I ain't waiting!    My mother in law showed up to watch Taryn and off we went. 


It was 6:30 or so and baby daddy was obeying every stinking stop light, stop sign and every rule of the road between home and the ER.....FOR THE LOVE OF NANCY.....STEP ON IT DAIRY FARMER , OR THIS BABY IS GONNA COME OUT ON MY LOVELY LEATHER CAR SEATS AND WE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO TRADE THIS THING IN!   I was honestly trying so hard not to push......but I was pretty sure a head was showing.    The DF dropped me at the ER entrance and I ran in and told them.....I'm having a baby and I mean NOW!   Doesn't it figure that "Gimpy, the wheel chair pusher" shows up to take me upstairs.....he is 95 plus, has a severe limp and he's feeling chatty......C'MON ON, MAN! YOU'VE GOT TO MOVE FASTER THAN THAT! AND SHUT THE FRICK UP! 

We made it upstairs and the nurses are so calm and cool and collected.....just change your clothes, get in the bed, we'll come check you and your doctor will be here soon.  WHAT??????  I HAVE A BABY HANGING OUT OF ME, I AIN'T WAITING FOR NO STINKIN' DOCTOR!   I finally convinced her that there was no "waiting" ...the time......was......NOW!  Now, most of this conversation was inside my own head, I was "ouching" so much, I really couldn't speak.  So, I think on the outside, I seemed like a nice pregnant lady, but on the inside....I was stark raving mad.     She did an internal and said, "oh dear."   Straight to delivery I went, trying like mad to hold this baby in until some sort of doctor type person showed up.

He finally did and in 2 minutes and 2 pushes, Aidan John entered the world!      He was born at 7:36am, we were moved out of the delivery room at 8am (and in with my 15 yr old roommate...which is a whole other story) and by 8:05 I was holding my lovely, thumbsucking little boy.  I should have started saving for braces the minute I saw him pop that little "fum" in his mouth.  He knew what he was doing.....like he'd be doing it for....well, I'm sure he started the minute he grew a thumb. 

And, now....he's 10 yrs old.  He's healthy and happy and makes me laugh all the time.   Happy Birthday to my favorite son!  Your momma loves you so much, you little punk!