One night in January 1998, I looked at The Dairy Farmer and said "do you want to have kids?" He looked at me and said "sure.....someday." And we went back to watching our regularly scheduled programming.
A few days later, I peed on a stick and it turned plus.
We got down to business and got ready to have ourselves a baby brechbill. I quit my job as a vet tech a few days before I was due. The Dairy Farmer was quite thrilled that I was going to be a stay at home mom. It was the biggest disagreement we'd ever had and almost prevented us from getting married. He was sure he wanted his wife to stay home and be barefoot and pregnant and I was sure that I would keep my job and juggle it all like so many other women. A fight with my boss made it clear.....I was going to stay at home.....which, once I could feel that squirmy little thing I was cookin'....I knew I didn't want to leave it in the hands of anyone but me.
The Dairy Farmer attended every Dr appointment with me. We held hands and smiled every time we heard that little heart just beating away. We took our parenting classes like a good little mommy and daddy. I mention this because, when number 2 came along......I was on my own, baby. I dragged a toddler to every doctor appt by myself and was just lucky that he showed up in time to cut the cord.
Of course, I did threaten divorce (more than once too) if I heard The DF refer to me, my body, my baby or the entire birth process in cattle terminology one more time. He was sure we didn't need no stinkin' hospital- he'd pulled a calf or two in his day and this couldn't be much different. THAT does NOT go over well with a lady who is 9 months pregnant. Don't poke the bear.
Nine months flew by and fairly uneventful - but one thing that can drive any pregnant woman crazy is all the phone calls you receive asking if you've had the baby yet. This was before email and facebook and texts....and caller id. I received a call on October 8th from my dear Aunt Rose. She said "did you have that baby yet?" Nope....but my due date isn't until October 12th. "Well, get ready cuz SHE'S coming tonight." What did she know that I didn't?
I watched ER and fell into bed around 11pm. I woke up to go to the bathroom around 1am.....but my goodness.....I sure had to go. Wait.....why so much? Why can't I stop? For the love of Pete....what is going on? I finally realized my water broke. Now, in all those classes and videos and even the Doc himself....prepares you to labor along for hours.....don't rush into the hospital, it can take forever and you may be sent home. Wait until contractions are consistently 5 minutes apart for an hour, then call. Take a walk or a nice warm shower, sit and rock on a giant kickball.....enjoy.
Well- that didn't happen. It hurt. It hurt a lot and within minutes of my nice, warm, relaxing shower, I was having contractions every three minutes. Guess we better step this up a bit. We headed into the hospital- still smiling and holding hands and gazing lovingly into each other's eyes as we prepared to welcome new life into the world. It still was hurting.....but if you've read my post about the day Jr. Edition was born...I was calm, cool, collected and wasn't throwing around profanity like a drunken sailor.
We were admitted and strapped in and monitored up and ready to see what was happening.....when it all......slowed......down. So..very... ....slow. The machine that tells you where you are in your contractions wasn't working. I NEEDED to know!!! I HAD to know when the beginning, middle and end was.....and the The Dairy Farmer just sat there, holding my hand and saying, "I don't know? The machine isn't working." Well....freakin' lie, man! Make something up.....whatever keeps my head in the game! I do remember 2 nurses coming in and out a lot. The DF called them "good cop" and "bad cop." Good cop would come in and say "sweetie, sugar, honey, darlin'.....wouldn't you like to get up and walk? Go to the bathroom? Sit on this ball?" And I'd say "NO!" She'd leave.....and a few minutes later, Bad Cop would come in and be all "girlfriend, suck it up and get your ass out of that bed." And I'd say "NO!" and the next thing I knew I was walking down the hall.
We found out that our kid was sunny side up and I was having back labor....yeah.....it sucks. But, since I was a new mom and thought I should experience birth to the fullest, I opted for no drugs. <if you are reading this now and you are a new mom about to have a baby.....a word of advice....take the frickin' drugs because they will NOT let you have them after the baby is born>
After a while, the pain became so bad, I started vomiting......sorry you have to know that, but I am keepin' it real. The DF was so hungry and had opened up a granola bar....that was it, game over. The smell of that hit me and nothing stayed down after. I do remember at that point, they decided I should have some drugs and I was on board with that. I passed out, feel asleep, perhaps died....whatever- and woke up around 9:45am to Kathie Lee Gifford's voice. Yes, I am dating myself now....Regis and Kathie Lee was on and let me say.....Kathie Lee is SO much more tolerable when you are pumped full of Demoral. Time to push...and at 10:32am, a baby girl was welcomed into our lives. We both looked at each other, our hearts about to burst with all the love and The DF said "gross, she looks like bruised meatloaf."
The DF didn't hang around for too long- he had to go back to work, but he did show up later that night with a large brown bag. It so happened that he had a hankering for some KFC and knowing how the smell of a granola bar made me loose it.....he wrapped that chicken up in about 4 bags hoping to conceal the smell from all those other pregnant woman on my floor. He's thoughtful like that.
Today, our little girl turned 13. She has become a wonderful young lady and I am so proud and honored to say she is mine. She is sweet and kind and smart and beautiful. She is NOTHING like I was at 13....which means I am extremely blessed and I wonder if that makes my parents a wee bit mad? You know- pay back and all?
We celebrated her special day with a surprise birthday party Saturday night, brunch with my family this morning......then we fed calves (which she begrudgingly did on her special day)....went out in the field to shoot guns and topped our evening off with a trip to Bruster's for ice cream. The only thing she really asked for was a tennis racket and for me to blog about her day. One thing that makes my heart happy is that she is still content to spend her time with us. The DF and I......we aren't cool......we know it and so does she, but we'll take every moment we can get with her.
We had our good friend, Tflo, come out Saturday morning and take our family pictures again this year. I am always amazed with her work. She shows a picture like this to me and I look at it and think, my gosh, is that MY child? When did this gorgeous young lady replace that pudgy faced little toddler? And then I think, Dang.....The DF and I.....we did good!
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