It's hot.....

 ....and that's an understatement.  July is here and someone turned the thermostat up.  Way up.  We can do heat, but what we can't do is dry.  We would like some rain, please.  Our corns would like a drink.   We are buckling down here on the farm- praying hard for rain and trying to keep our cows and our dairy farmer cool.    

 It reminds me of Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam, when he's interviewing "Roosevelt"......so I shall leave you with this.....cuz that's kinda how we feel: "What's the weather like out there? "It's hot! Damn hot! Real hot! Hottest things is my shorts. I could cook things in it. A little crotch pot cooking." Well, tell me what it feels like. "Fool, it's hot! I told you again! Were you born on the sun? It's damn hot! It's so damn hot, I saw little guys, their orange robes burst into flames. It's that hot! Do you know what I'm talking about?" What do you think it's going to be like tonight? "It's gonna be hot and wet! That's nice if you're with a lady, but ain't no good if you're in the jungle!"  

 I think right about now......hot and wet sounds pretty good.

Read more...

Fill 'er up!

Like I said before....most of the spring is spent getting ready for summer and most of the summer is spent getting ready for winter.  It's a never ending cycle on a dairy farm (or any farm for that matter).  Always seems like we are trying to stay one step ahead of momma nature....

This is my view.  It's calves and corn.....corn and calves......both of them are everywhere!  All that corn will be chopped up into corn silage to feed our ladies during the winter months.  Our corn is very thirsty.  It would really like to have some rain. 

Our hay shed is full......of straw.  I know....just doesn't seem right to keep your straw in your hay shed, does it?  But, that's The Dairy Farmer for ya.....he's always been a rebel.  These are large square bales.  I don't know actual dimensions, but I can tell you.....they are big.....HUGE.

Now these.....these here are......well......I'll let you guess:

<insert jeopardy theme music here>

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Did you guess round bales?  You did????  Well, never let it be said that my farm following friends ain't got the smarts!  These are round bales of.......yes, you are correct again.....straw, I think.  It could be hay.  I don't know.  I think it's straw though.  Or, it could be that I do not know of what I speak.   

These are big square bales again, but of a different substance.  This is corn fodder- it's what's left after they chop the corn. It's mostly stalk.  All the fodder and the straw are used as bedding for our cows, calves, horses and chickens.  

 Remember, The Dairy Farmer says: cow comfort is key.  He likes to see them laying down and chewing cud!   And I know you all know what a cud is, right?  You better say yes, I spent of lot of time trying to edumacate you people.

This is cow feed.  I am not sure what is underneath- could be chopped up alfalfa or chopped up corn.....in DF terms....that's haylage or corn silage. 

 It is packed in the bunk silo by tractor- compressed as best we can and covered with plastic.  This allows it to ferment- much like sauerkraut.  Kinda smells like it too.  That prevents it from spoiling.    Now, I have it straight from The Dairy Farmer that "covering trench" is one of the worst jobs here on the farm.  He wants Mike Rowe to come out and help him some day. 

 I think it requires a lot of physical exertion and it may require you to sweat and therefore.....you will not ever find me "covering trench."  I am usually sick that day.

Oh heavens....we ran out of room in the hay shed and had to put things in this shed.  I am not sure what this shed is, but I shall call it the wagon shed.  This poor shed is stuffed full, it's got round bales coming out its front end and its back end.

And of course.....we have small square bales.....and this is straw, I just KNOW it.   So, there you have it.   Just like little squirrels burying their nuts for the winter......so are are the days of our lives.

Read more...

Swamp Obsession

I'm not sure if you know this or not, but Jr Edition is a lego junkie.  A few days ago, he was locked in his room creating.  When he shuts the door.....he means business. 

He has been dying for me to blog about his latest creation......and here it is:

Why this here.....this here is RJ and Jay Paul.....and if you don't know who these bad boys are, well.....then you haven't been exposed to Swamp People.  

Jr follows in his daddy's footsteps with his penchant for all things History Channel (or Discovery...can't forget about Discovery)  If you checked our DVR queue.....you'll find Deadliest Catch, Mythbusters, Ax Men, Ice Road Truckers and the list goes on and on.  Apparently, there is an obsession with swamp type stuff these days and Jr is often found watching Swamp People, Swamp Loggers, Swamp Brothers.....the swampier the better.

So, RJ (who is the dad) and Jay Paul (the son) live way down in the Louisiana (pronounced Lews-e-anna) bayou and dem boys hunt dem gatas.   I find it terribly amusing that these here fellas are from my own cuntry.....yet, the show is complete with subtitles, cuz I'll be damned if you can understand what they are saying.  It's a combination of english/french-ish and cajunese......combine that with the fact that they have about 3 teeth between all of them, well......you need the subtitles.

Here they are in real life:

Now......if you've watched the show, you know that these.....well.....they are the hot ones.  They make everyone else look like dey been hit wit da ugly stick.  I do believe they are more native american than they are cajun?  But, don't quote me.   I do know that they hunt gators for a living.    See.........

Dem boys got demselves a gata on da line!  If you read this post with Kathy Bates' accent in Waterboy, it will help immensely.    Dem boys ride around in dere swamp buggy (you know, those boats with the huge fan on the back)  and dey lays traps for da gatas.

Dis trap is basically a big hook with da meat on it.    Da hook is tied to a big rope and once dey catch dem a gata...dey haul his big, writhing body up to da surface.....by dis time.....dat gata is pretty pissed.     Jay Paul is equipped wit a gun (you can see it above) and he shoots dat gata in da head.  Now, the episode I watched showed one of them shooting his own boy.  Apparently, you have to hit them just right, or the ricochet can git your boy.  It was all good, cuz dey went home and dat boy's momma cut dat bullet out o his eye wit a steak knife.   

Den,  dey put him in da boat, duct tape hiz mouf shut (just in case....apparently those gators like to play possum) and off dey go to da next gata hole.  

Here is the boat from the back.  Now, Jay Paul really doesn't have blue hair, he kinda has no hair.  And RJ, well......homie has a rat tail that is about 5 feet long.  I often wonder to myself, if I was the one catching gators in the bayou......I'll be dag gone if I'd have a 5 foot rat tail hanging down......I would keep all my personal bits inside the boat at all times.

In case you haven't caught wind of this show......here's what you're missing:

I sure hope he's talking about a squatch.....cuz nothing would excite my family more than if Animal Planet and History Channel teamed up and produced Finding Swamp Foot. Queue the DVR, honey!

Read more...

This is nuts

Well....it's here.  The end to civilization as we know it.  I posted about it way back when...in March.....RIGHT HERE.  Roseanne Barr slash Arnold slash no last name just Roseanne is going to take over the word and she's a gonna do it one nut at a time.   Her new reality show is going to air on Lifetime on July 13th.  Her giant nuts are coming at ya straight from the big island of Hawaii.  Maybe she'll explain to you first hand how her nuts are just what you need.  The perfect food.  Her own son has even said he has tried his mother's nuts.....and they are good.  


I am pretty sure the dairy industry isn't going down without a fight.  I better tell The Dairy Farmer to get ready, Roseanne's armed with nuts and they are salty and ....frankly.....they are delicious.  But, guess what they are good with?????  White chocolate.....and baked inside a cookie.......and guess what that cookie goes good with?????  A nice, cold, refreshing glass of MILK!  That's right....that's right.....I said it......MILK.  Sorry Roseanne, but you ain't getting rid of us that easy. 

Read more...

You think you're hot??????

I'll bet dollars to donuts, you've got nuthin' on these guys!

It's "real time" on the farm and this is what is going on....right now.....as I type.  I take it you can figure out that since I am posting this, I am not involved in this fun farm activity.  You'd be right.  I have 2 reasons for not helping:  1) I am an asthmatic.  This- well, it would send me to the ER, I'm pretty sure.  And B) someone had to take care of the calves.  And 3) well.....it's just stinkin' hot.  Ok, I have 3 reasons....and I bet I could come up with a ton more if you need me to.

Most of the summer is spent preparing for winter.  So, all hands are on deck and we are bringing in the straw.  We'll use this for bedding for the calves and for our horses. 

Here's how it goes down:  (and bare with me, cuz I am unfiltered right now) The Dairy Farmer runs out to the field with an empty hay wagon.  I guess, technically, it's not empty, because Jr Edition is in the back (giving his momma heart palpitations).

Meanwhile, as The DF is unloading his full wagon, they are out in the field, filling up another wagon.



Once The DF gets to the field, they trade wagons and he leaves the empty one for a refill and brings back the full one.....hope he remembered to bring Jr back with him.

Thank goodness.....I see him.  Jr is beside himself when he gets to work with The Dairy Farmer.  He has finally reached the age of accountability.  The age where he can hang on tight, do what he's told and not run off chasing butterflies.  As soon as he caught wind that it was straw baling day, he was up in the barn with the guys, despite the fact that he's in a walking boot due to a chipped ankle bone.  You just can't keep a good man down.

Once,  The DF gets back with the full wagon, he unhooks it and the guys start pulling it in to the barn.

He swings around quickly and gives it a bit of a shove with the tractor.  We don't want our hard working fellas to end up with a hernia.

In Jr's excitement, he shoves The Dairy Farmer out of the tractor so they can hurry up and start unloading. 

WARNING:  GRATUITOUS ASS SHOT COMING UP!

Sorry....that was very Pioneer Woman.  It wasn't intentional, I promise....but this is how it goes.  The DF rides the conveyor to the top of the straw stack so he can help unload.

And there they are......a few guys throw bales on the conveyor and a few guys stack at the top.  They've been doing this all the livelong day....and it's hot and it's humid.  They are sweaty and the more they sweat, the more straw sticks to them.  They have straw in every nook and cranny.....their pockets are full of straw, their boots are full of straw.....and I don't know if you know this or not, but straw is VERY dusty and VERY itchy.   I don't envy them one bit.  But, it needs to be done.    And once the wagon is empty, the whole process starts all over again.  So, if you think you're hot today, c'mon over and we'll show you what hot really is. 


 

Read more...

Healing

Each day gets a little better.  That's what I told Farm Boy Jr Edition when he come home from my dad's house, hysterically sobbing at 11pm on Wednesday night.  He had gone with his Pap Pap to spend the night so they could leave early for New Jersey to visit my sister.   I wasn't sure if I should let him go, but I let him make his own decision. 

It didn't work out so well and I found myself with a ten yr old room mate late that night.  One that was so sad I could hardly stand it.  He told me he wished he had been prepared.  Well, we'd been talking about it for 2 weeks when we knew that Abby was sick and we'd be making a decision soon.  He said he understood that part, but wished he was more prepared  for how badly it would hurt.  What do you say to that?   Nothing prepares you for how bad saying goodbye will hurt. 

We talked about Rainbow Bridge and I told him that he'll have to trust me when I say...each day gets a little better and soon the pain in your heart lessens and you'll be reminded of all the good memories of the time we had with our special girl.

He finally fell asleep and woke up feeling pretty good and headed up to Jersey to visit my better than sliced bread niece.  If she can't make you feel better, nothing can.   My oldest punk spent the day with her Grandma and I was left.....alone.....in my house.....to look at......this:

It's Goldie Hawn, Gold finger, the Golden Child....the babyshit yellow loveseat where Abby spent her days sprawled out living the good life.  It's empty. 

Then.....I had to deal with this:

This is one sad hound.  The Dairy Farmer slept downstairs with him (because my bed was full of 10 year old boy) the night Abby died.  He said poor Jack moaned...a lot.  Normally, when Abby would vacate the couch (which wasn't often....usually to eat and pee), he would seize the opportunity and haul his big tukus up and take a snooze.  Well, that sofa is empty and he stands in front of it and whines.   But, I told him the same thing I told Jr.....it will get better. 

I spent most of the next day in my craft room, avoiding the living room at all costs.  I wrote  my tribute to my best girl on my blog and let it all go......lots and lots and lots of tears ensued and just as a good cathartic cry will do....I felt the pain lessen, just a little bit. 

The Dairy Farmer and I found ourselves alone that night, both kids overnighting with family and what normally would've been a fun date night turned into a quiet dinner and a somber ride home.   The DF had asked  me when the hurt would go away.  He said if he felt this bad, he couldn't imagine how I must feel.   Sadly, I think I am handling things a bit better.  There is a tiny bit of peace that comes with knowing you did the best thing you could for your best friend.  If we would have let her go another day, she would have been in immense pain and I didn't want that for her.

We made it to the cemetery down the road from our house.  And, we just couldn't make our selves go home.  It's too full of sadness.  Instead, we headed to a friends home and visited with them and enjoyed a beautiful evening. 

When we got home, we made Jack come upstairs and sleep in our room so he wasn't alone.  BIG mistake....huge......he burps and farts and SNORES and when he's snoring he must be dreaming because he runs and runs and runs.  He must be very fast in his own mind.   He finally got tired of the DF  yelling at him and went back downstairs to sleep in peace.

Jr came home from my sister's house Saturday and we had to go through the cleansing cry again.  He wasn't as far along as the rest of us.  He can't stop thinking about the last time he saw her.  

It is  now day 4 and we are starting to smile and laugh again.  Our household is getting back to normal and we have started talking about our next dog.  We are open to whomever God decides to send our way.   Even though this is the worst part about owning a dog, I just can't be without one.  They fulfill our family...no matter how long they are with us. 

Read more...