How quickly we forget......

My youngest is away.  ( I say that like I have tons of children.....like I'm Mrs. Duggar....I only have 2)....so let me rephrase that.  My other one is away.   Farm Boy Jr Edition is on a camping trip with his class.  See...there he is:

I think this is awesome.  His teacher, God bless her soul, packed up...what? Like 13 kids? and took them to her family's cabin in "I can't pronounce it," PA.  God bless her soul.   

They headed out yesterday  morning at 9am and we won't see that punk until 5:30pm on Tuesday.   Thank goodness other people give him these opportunities, because, I sure don't.   I'm an inside momma.  Camping is NOT my thing.   I have been cabining....and I like that.  And, I think I would enjoy RV ing......but anything involving a tent just ain't my style.  (And, to be honest, this trip involves a cabin)  But, it's still not my thing.

Anywho- last night was to be date night for The Dairy Farmer and I.....seeing as how we were down to one.  But, that one....well, she's not feeling well.  Allergies have kicked in full force- and that poor, puffy faced, red eyed girl is highly allergic to mold and mildew which basically encompasses all of Franklin County at the  moment due to the copious amounts of rain lately.   

Little did I know, that The DF had something up his sleeve....that sneaky pete.  I'll post that another day...it does have bearing on my camping post. 

The sick one and I went up to my bedroom to watch a movie last night and as I passed by Jr Edition's room and saw that:
1) he had cleaned it up before he left......which made my heart happy...and
2) it was completely empty......which made my heart sad....and I was a little verklempt.

I walked into my bed room, where the sick one was all nestled in amongst my 1000 pillows and said with my best frowny face,  " I miss my boy."    The sick one turned her head, looked me in the eye and with her deadpan expression said, "what boy?"       Oh, how quickly we forget........

Now, I am sure she's gonna remember "what boy" when she gets home from school and has to take care of dogs, cats, horses, chickens and calves all by herself.   Oh yes, she will remember.

Read more...

A PSA for you...and you.....and you.....

We have lots of "stuff" going on around Brechland Farms today, but something has been weighing on my mind for a few days now.  

 Our farm is comprised of a couple different farms and one of our farms is located down the road a bit on Spring Rd. 

We own some ground there as well as a triangular patch of woods right along the road.  These woods have seen plenty of tragic accidents in their time, one of these  accidents occurred over the weekend.   I'm sure if you are a local, you know the one I am talking about.   Two, very young men lost their lives Saturday night and a young lady was seriously injured. 

I have heard bits and pieces...rumors continue to circulate....I don't know what is true and what is not.  I've heard they were driving too fast.  I've heard they were drinking.  I've heard they had children.  I don't know....... but,  what I do know is, these men are dead.  And, they aren't coming back.    This is what I drive by every day:

These boys were someone's children.  Someone's daddy.  Someone's uncle.  Someone's grandsons.  My heart aches when I see these signs.   One thing that every article mentions is that all 3 were ejected from the car and it's fairly evident that they were not wearing their seatbelts.

There was a time when I was young and felt like I would live forever.  I did not wear my seatbelt.  One of my friend's gave me a pretty good lecture about it once (she knows who she is...she was older and wiser because she was....a mom)  Once I had my kids, her lecture hit home....and I wear my selt belt all the time and so do my punks.    Accidents happen every day, some can be prevented and some can't.   So, take these 2 things with you today:

1)  Be ready ...you never know when it's your time.  And since this is my blog, I can say what I want.  If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior, you're good to go.  No need to fear death....and when those who are left behind are 100% sure that you're heaven bound, it sure makes the rest of their time on this earth a tiny, tiny, tiny bit more bearable.



2) ALWAYS wear your seatbelt.  Why?  Because your life is precious and I care.

A friend just sent me this.....how appropriate:

Read more...

OPP

You down with OPP?  Yeah...you know me!  Like to end my day with a little Naughty by Nature.  But, my OPP doesn't stand for what you think it might.....my OPP is for Other People's Punks......and they descended upon the farm last weekend.

My sister and her besties from high school came to The Burg for a girls weekend.  They've been doing this for as long as I can remember.  It used to be just the girls and then the girls all got boys and then the girls and the boys all got babies.  I think it's pretty special that, even though they are dispersed all over...they still make it a priority to get together with each other, because we all know what a girlfriend and a glass of wine can do for our mental health. 


Now, they just drag their little ankle biters with them.   One of those rug rats just happens to be Boo and I will never tell my better than sliced bread niece that she can't come visit us on the farm!  She needed a little bit of an "Aidy" fix and Aidy sure needed to be bossed around by a super cute toddler, so she came over Sunday morning.  I skipped church....that's right....I said it......I skipped church for Boo and it was worth every second. 

Boo didn't come alone.  She brought this little blond dude with her.  And this dude....well.....he had these on:

Be still my heart.  I remember the days when Jr Edition wore a pair of these EVERY BLESSED DAY....only his looked like red fire engines.  They sure were cute, but after awhile.....they sure did stink.  Rubber and nekkid toddler feet don't mix well.   I'm sure glad that little blondie had these on, cuz that's what a good farm boy should wear.  Not flip flops....which is what blondie's silly momma had on. I'm not naming names to protect the innocent, but she knows who she is.

Boo also brought another blond dude....and how he has blond hair, I don't know.  His momma sure don't.  He was very happy to stick his pudgy little punk hand in the fence and let the calves lick it.  Cheezit really liked him.  What I can say about this punk is....he's a trip.  So much like his mother.

Green sweatshirt kid brought his older sister.....who melts me with her gorgeous eyes.   She's checking out our new bull who was born that morning just for her.   We like to work it like that.....makes the city kids feel special.

 There was another little guy who came along and he was "ok" with the calf scene....what he really wanted was some horse action.  He stood by the fence with a bag of carrots, just hoping for a horse to get a whiff and come racing over.  But, the grass is just too green and they are feast or famine beasts.  They weren't giving up that grass for nuthin.'  So, homeboy decided he'd eat his own carrots....that'll teach 'em!  Little did he know that our mastiff's most favoritist snack in the whole wide world....is......wait for it......carrots.  

Look at her....acting all cool, like she owns the place.  I think I'll get her a pair of baby coveralls for Christmas.  Then, I'll put her skinny butt to work.  It's high time she start milking some cows.  Stay in touch with her country roots.  She's part rural AND  part urban.

I needed some vid for this one, but flip was not to be found......cutie in blue "mooed" the entire visit.  And he wasn't just saying "moo,"  it was a full body "moo."  He'd spread his little legs, stick his belly out, puff his chest out, throw his head back and yell "moo."  And I'm sure glad he did, because up until now, I wasn't sure what sound a cow made.

There's my Boo and my sister.  Taking a break and doing a little swinging.  I'm always thrilled to see her (which is most certainly NOT enough) but, I'm glad she brought her little toddler friends to see the farm.  It's important for kids to get a chance to hang on a farm....see where their milk comes from, get their hands messy, eat a little dirt.

Read more...

Happy Mother's Day

If you are a mom, a mother, a mommy or a momma......today is your day!  Happy Mother's Day  to you all.  Today started off smashing:  breakfast in bed from the oldest (a cold scrambled egg and 2 pieces of dry toast) and I couldn't have loved it more.  The Dairy Farmer went to the grocery store for me- which, as you mommas know...is a glorious gift and in real time on the farm, the punks are cleaning out the garage and I am exempt.  I've got it made.

Farm Boy, Jr. Edition has been up in his room "creating" all morning.  When he asks if he can keep his bedroom door shut, I know it means business.  You see, Jr. Edition is a lego junkie. He can spend hours building...whether it's based on the instructions in the box or creations from his own mind and today......he was building something.....just for me.

Yesterday, we turned on the Kentucky Derby.  We aren't big horse racing fans, but farm work was done and we have officially seen every episode of iCarly or the Suite Life at least twice, so I made them watch the derby.  I am pretty sure we would have made some wagers and won big time if Uncle Moe wouldn't have been scratched the day before.     I am never impressed by their lineage, bloodlines or race history....I bet solely on their color or their name and it just so happens that my brother in law is.....indeed......Uncle Moe.  

We watched them parade to the post and we picked out our "winners."  Taryn chose Animal Kingdom because he was pretty (ah, proud mommy moment),  Aidan went with Pants on the Ground....wait...no...that's not right....Pants of Fire.   The Dairy Farmer decided he liked the look of Nehro and I had to go with  Mucho Macho Man because I could sing a little Village People.

Well....sadly, we didn't do any wagering and it's too daggone bad, because......if you watched the derby yesterday, you'd have seen that we came in 1....2.....3.   Damn.  Easy chair betting is just sooooo darn easy!  And, the jockey who rode Animal Kingdom was to ride Uncle Moe....so, I like to think that I missed being a millionaire yesterday by .......this much.

Anywho- in honor of the race, I received this as my Mother's Day gift:  a miniaturized version of a full scale replica of a lego model of the Kentucky Derby. 

   

It just doesn't get any better than this. 

Read more...

The nose knows.....

The Dairy Farmer is often frustrated by my super sniffing abilities.  I admit, I am a bit more sensitive to smells than some folks may be.  I believe it comes from my veterinary technology background....one step into a room and you can decipher cat urine, blood, pus, parvo, bad teeth, anal glands.....ahh....I miss those days.  No, not really.  I don't miss my job at all. I do, however, miss my girls  (and you know who you are....shout out to TCAMC ladies...you made it worth my while!) 

I think it drives The DF nutso when I walk into a room and start sniffing....."Do you smell cat pee?   What is that oily smell?  Is the furnace going to explode?  Does radon have a smell, cuz I think I smell it?  The carbon dioxide smells a bit strong in this room, quit breathing so heavy." 

This does not bode well for him, because, well....to be frank....he always smells.   Whether it's diesel and grease (which I kinda like....like my man all rugged and tough) or burnt flesh on dehorning day ( I do NOT like that day) or the sweet, sauerkraut smell of silage (I do sortof, kinda like that one) or the nasty, nose hair burning smell of manure....his hands, his hair, his clothes.....just smell.   

 So, when he walks in the back door, chest all proud, puts down his briefcase and says in his booming husband voice, 'Honey......I'm home!"  This June Cleaver does not run over, grab said briefcase and plant a big kiss on his cheek.......this June runs the other way. 

(And, he doesn't carry a briefcase to work in case you were wondering.  Doesn't even carry a lunch box.  The only thing on that man is a cell phone and a leatherman.  Which.....is hot.)

So, yesterday, I kept saying....."do you smell that?  The house smells funky."  And it went on and on into the night.  We talked about it a bit and figured- our poor basement has been wet for about 3 months due to the rain and it's not uncommon for the mildewy smell to start rising through my floorboards  (especially through my living room floorboards who are just BEGGING to be refinished.....but.....that's another story) 

I kept sniffing and thinking.....no, this is not mildew or mold.  Until about 7:45pm when I finally said " does anyone know of any dead fish....because that's what I'm smelling!"   That was in the living room.....I walked into the kitchen and said "it's in here too!"   The DF jumped up and headed down to the basement.   When he came back up he said, "we have good news and bad news."  I thought for sure he was going to say that our ancient cat had gone down there to up and die....and we were smelling his decomposing body....which to The DF would be VERY good news.   

 But, no.....turns out one of our big freezers had been unplugged and what my super sniffer was sniffing was not a decaying cat, but an entire decomposing cow!  Well, Dairy Farmer, that there is good news!  I still am not sure what the "good" news part was....perhaps we were going to have one hell of a barbeque? 

Thank goodness for my extra special nose and his stomach of steel.  He backed the pickem up truck to the cellar doors and started unloading tons of beef.  For some reason, Junior Edition figured this was AWESOME and ran down to start helping.   They unloaded all of it, cleaned the freezer out and got her running again.  I'm not sure what he did with the meat.....but I'm betting every neighborhood dog was on high alert last night!   I know our dog, Jack, laid at the top of the basement steps whining while they carried out all that deliscious beef.

All is well this morning- my house no longer reeks of death.  We actually caught it "in time" so to speak.  DF said one more day and we would've had a real mess.  Most of the meat in the back of the freezer was still fairly cold.  And, as The Dairy Farmer crawled into bed last night, he said he had a great father/son bonding experience over a freezer full of rotten meat....and that, my friends......is priceless. 

Read more...

Hell may have just froze over

Are ya'll feeling a chill? I think I am.  And I think it's because Hell hath justh frozth over.   Wanna know why?  Because I just looked out the window and saw this: 

Now, I know you are probably saying...well, Mrs. The Farmer.....that there is just a gate.  And to that, I say...yes, yes it is.  It's a very important gate.  It's an exciting gate....a gate that shall save me money and mental torment this spring.
See, I have this gate......because I have this:

This fuzzy little sucker....also know as the "jack beep,"  the "beep" hole and the bastard.....causes lots of trouble in the spring.   His eyes are bigger than his belly and if you are a local, you know how much rain we've been getting and you know that all of our yards look like hay fields.  I think we mow every day round these parts. 

Well, imagine my horse pasture- just brimming with lush, delicious, green grass.  And Fatty, Fatty Two by Four, seems to think it's feast or famine.  His wild days back in Jackson Hole, Wyoming taught him that.  So, he eats and eats and eats and eats......and then one day, he's standing in the barn because his poor feet hurt so bad he can hardly move.   It costs me a veterinary house call......which results in some pills, which have to be crushed up and mixed with applesauce.....which results in me trying to force feed him sauce flavored pills, that he doesn't like.  I have tried a muzzle to keep him from eating too much grass- lasted about 2 minutes.  I have tried keeping him inside- lasted about 2 minutes.  And I have been asking The Dairy Farmer for a gate to lock them in our "runway" (the path that leads from the barn to the field).  I've been asking for a gate for about 3 years now.  

Every year, I start writing notes, sending texts and dropping hints the size of A bombs to The DF for a gate.  I start this regimen in February....knowing that come April, I start to see a limping horse.....but, I've mentioned that we run on island time around here.  I know he's busy and has many more important things going on  (which is kinda why I  start asking in Feb...it's a slow time.....but......ok....deep breath).    So, it happened today!  Doggone it, if I didn't look outside and see my new gates......

Beautiful, ain't they?  Well, these bad boys are going to save me a couple hundred dollars each spring.  So, color me happy.  Now.....there's still that issue of my hardwood floors........

Read more...

Free Ride's Over

The dreaded phone call came this morning.  I had to go back to work.  Since the weather has been decent, I've been toying with the idea of giving it a try here and there.  I feel bad that The Dairy Farmer is still doing my work and his work and his work is not easy and my work is not easy and his work isn't going well due to this crazy, rainy weather and he's stressed. 

 It's not like I've been sitting around in my recliner eating jelly beans and blogging....oh wait....yes, yes I have   I actually have not been "cleared" by my doctor to start feeding calves just yet.  But, for the most part, I'm back to "normal" function.  I'm cleaning, doing laundry....you know I'm not cooking, but I do heat stuff up just fine, helping at school, still running my stamping business and taking care of the punks.   I also feel pretty darn good most days.  The numbness and tingles come every now and then and I haven't had to take an afternoon nap in weeks.


But, I know the day is coming...the day when I have to give up the cushy, housewife life and start pulling my weight here on the farm. Today was that day.


The Dairy Farmer is "working" this weekend- which means, it's his weekend to feed cows.  On his weekend to work, he also has to feed calves for me.   Today, he came down with a migraine and, being a sufferer myself, I knew how bad he felt.  So, the punks and I headed out to take care of the hungry milk suckers.  All is pretty much the same as I remembered it, except....we are driving the black truck instead of the green truck.  And the milk barrel has grown about 50 times its normal size. And the hose I had to maneuver to fill the milk buckets looks like a snake that ate a pig...it's huge.  And none of the calves I once knew are there....it's just a bunch of.....black and white strangers.  Well, except for Cheezit.  I know her. 


So, I pull up in the calf lane in the truck- grab the hose off the back to start  filling milk buckets and ...oh my stinkin' heck!  It weighs 50 pounds!  I felt like I was putting out a 5 alarm fire!  I had to pull and push and squeeze and actually try and hold this ginormous thing.  But, I did it.  All calves were fed and watered and even though my arms were burning and getting numb....I had a sense of accomplishment.   It's a good feeling to know that you're even closer to "normal."   Whatever the heck "normal" may be.


Ha Ha, I say to myself....I have beat you Guillain Barre.  In yo face!  Since I had conquered that....off I went to clean a water trough in the horse barn that has been collecting junk since November.  Ha Ha, I say to myself.  I rock.  Off I went to take care of an old horse who is starting his shed.   This old horse does not shed normally, he needs help.   It's like shearing a sheep....well.....I took a picture of the mess.   I'm think I'm going to make a new horse tonight.

Ha, Ha I say.....I'm really tired.  I think I'll go lay down.  Well....you know how that goes.  Farm boy jr. edition rounds the corner of the barn to say that cows are out.   Crap.  Off I go to help round up some cows. But, they weren't cows, they were older heifers.  Double Crap.  


When cows get out- they tend to wander a little aimlessly around the barns, maybe kick up their heels a bit, try to run....but realize as their saggy udder starts swinging wildly from side to side, that maybe they shouldn't do that......and instead, find a grassy patch and have a snack.  Now, if a bunch of cows get out....that theory changes, thankfully it doesn't happen much.


Heifers on the other hand....are a pain in my rumpus.  They get a sniff of the open air and realize they aren't fenced in and off they go screaming "you may take our lives, but you'll never take our FREEDOM!...running, jumping, kicking and creating general chaos around the farm.   And...those suckers are lightening fast.   Remember, The DF is sick in bed with a migraine...so my roundup team consisted of me, 2 punks and my sister and my niece, Boo....who is a toddler.   This is gonna be fun!   Luckily, 2 employees came to help.     


These little ladies were making their way to the road, I guess they were planning on hitching a ride to the mall to see a movie or go shoe shopping, but thought better of it.  They turned around and came back to visit the hutch calves.  Nothing is more enjoyable than casually sauntering along the row of calves stuck behind a wire fence.   They even licked the little kid's buckets clean of leftover milk and then to add insult to injury, they sang the "nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo-doo song."   Turkeys.

Between the 5 and 1/2 of us (the 1/2 is Boo, she wasn't a big help) we got them rounded up and in their pen, just in time for The DF to show up and tie the gate shut.   Whew!  I AM tired now.  But, WAIT!  Even more excitement.  We had special guests arriving.....and that.....my farm following friends....is a post for another day.

Read more...